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Tuesday, July 06, 2004 last time i blogged. a wk ago. what's happened in this wk? world crumbled. my gut instincts came true..something i've suspected for sooo long has finally received a confirmation on wed nite. zikang's with someone new. someone tall and pretty and doesn't look chinese..something i'm the complete antithesis of. was on way to zouk when kai msged me and told me she saw him there. made a swerve and lost my way and couldn't park into the lot at nat's place. mind in a mess.. went there, she told me abt him and her, they were doing the whole,"dun turn!! dun turn! i swear u dun wanna see her w him behind u right now." i din turn my back, wouldn't have stood the sight of a beloved one holding someone new. heart broke. he jumped boat abit too fast..but i dun blame him. i've no rights to. he's single and eligible, dun blame gerz for jumping at him. cat finally told me that actually she saw him w that ger wks ago already but she din dare tell me. Great, prophecy came true.. it dawned on me: i've been self-inflicting pain on myself for far too long. he's moved on.. i should. i've no choice, i've seen it. guys move on far too fast, memories are nothing. why should i hold on to sth which will nv be mine again. one word: Bitter. refuse to think abt it.. had a flaming lambo for the first time tt nite, courtesy of kelvin's pocket..haha i can hold my liqour quite well, i realised.. wanted to get sloshed..but nothing felt, except hot in my stomach..perhaps heart throbbing too hard to feel anithing.. some cutie dancing behind me, wanted pick me up. turned to kelvin and asked,"is she available?" and tt idiot told him NO! haha and he disappeared! wat a waste. but later on some hunk came along aft lights came on and asked for my #. i gave. 1st time in my life. tink i was just too upset to think straight. nothing going on. dun trust guys from clubs still. esp cute ones. ate supper till 5+ am den went nat's place, couldn't sleep. we talked till 8am.. i'm so thankful she's around.
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