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Thursday, August 12, 2004 hehe i noe i haven't been blogging..too many things happening...just back from zouk.. so proud of myself tonite.. i needa blog abt tonite b4 updating u guys on my tioman trip.. emmanz's bday today..same day as zk..(notice sth? i haven't mentioned his name since i changed blogskin..it's part of my effort to get him outta my system).. expected to c him there. was in the carpark when somebody told me he's there w/ 4 gerz in the car.. was like affected.. so went to nat's place instead.. was contemplating to just go supper and avoid seeing him there..but heck..i tot: why shud i? i was all dressed up and yeah!! my knee high boots.. aft much deliberation, went in at 1230, can u believe it? 1st person i saw was him w his arms ard this fat ger la and surrounded by ugly gerz... funny thing was, i felt at peace. not tt i tink i'm damn pretty or i'm surrounded by gorgeous pple but i felt for once i wasn't on the losing end.. he was evidently happy enjoying himself w those pple. and i'm happy being single hanging out w my frenz, doing wat i like.. wasn't tt wat we were looking for in the 1st place? we broke up coz' i wished both of us would haf happiness, and if happiness comes w separation, haven't we achieved our aim? din haf the courage to wish him happy birthday, but i do wish him happiness w/ whoever it may be.. it was a pity i wasn't the one who could spend this special day w him but i guess everyone's gotta move on.. maybe this is the day i can finally stop tormenting myself.. i've been getting on great, haf the liberty to climb on zouk's platform and boogie away w gerz w/o having to worry abt a possessive bf.. there's nothing in my life worth me getting extreme happiness or sadness animore. i'm just at peace w myself. i hope this peace stays with me.
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