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Sunday, March 19, 2006 i planned to write this blog entry 2 years ago, isn't it funny? 2 years ago,i was waiting for this day to arrive. it's been two whole years.. i can't believe how far i've gone. when i told pple tt i'd give myself 2 years to get over zk, nobody believed me, they said it'd just tk me 2 wks but nobody knew. Yes i looked happy and nice these 2 years, but there were moments when i find my tots wondering to the days with him. Yes i know i'm with felix and it's not fair to him and i really really thank him for the patience he's spared me during those times when he knew my mind was elsewhere. Looking back at my first blog entries, they were so miserable and angsty. I asked God why it was happening, but He gave me the strength to go through everything with support from my lovely friends and let felix come into my life. I could have gone the wrong way in my despair but He made sure i did what was right in His eyes and i'm really proud that i've come so far w/o ruining myself. He hasn't told me why, neither has he. Maybe someday an explanation and a proper closure will come, maybe there simply needs no closure?This is the day when i can step out of those memories and accept them as a past. I found myself praying for him to be happy last night, and i knew that when i had the ability to do that, I should be clear. I no longer have to switch off the radio when i hear Norah Jones or Daniel Beddingfield, nor cringe everytime i drive past sunset way, nor avoid mount faber anymore. The chapter closed long ago, but i just hadn't put away the book, now it's time. I wish him happiness, just as i wish myself happiness. This was what we wanted 2 years ago and now it's materialised.
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